What Would I Buy for $13?

Mike Huckabee asked on his FoxNews television show last weekend what viewers would buy for the additional $13 workers will receive in their paychecks under the recently passed stimulus plan. That is the amount employees will receive weekly in 2009 due to reductions in the payroll taxes. Next year, the amount is reduced to $7.75 per week.

Now, even though I am disabled and unable to work, I decided to answer the question. I googled "buy" and "$13." I received 3.6 million hits! I found several favorites, but one was absolutely perfect.

For $12.95, I would buy "Money to Burn Fire Starters." These are wax rolls of fake $100 bills. The description reads: "Impress friends and family with your phony wealth by starting a fire with these benjamins coated in slow-burning wax so they stay lit until the firewood catches. You can also light your fine hand-rolled Cuban cigar! Because money is nothing to a high roller like you, right?"

What would be more appropriate considering that Congress is burning through our money like there is no tomorrow with this stimulus package?